Colour of my Skin (aka: Brown)

I mean, what the hell?

I don't call myself Brown. Why would I? I'm black.

Only weird people and writers use the term 'brown' to describe me.

Just like they might use 'peach' to describe a white person.

And only weird people and writers use the term 'honey-coloured' to describe Asian or mixed-race people.

And only idiots or people who don't know that it's a rude phrase, use the term 'half-caste' to describe mixed-race people.

And don't get me started on 'Nigger'.

There's even a slang spelling for it now; 'Nigga'.

Only ASSHOLES would use the term 'Nigger'. I can't believe black people even use it on each other; Timbaland, R Kelly, and other well-known people.

WHAT THE HELL? WHY . . . ? Who would do that?

It burns me up.

Yeah, you get the really bad swearwords like 'motherfucker' and all that, but words like 'Nigger' are beyond that.

And I'm not just taking about black people. There are so many words that discriminate lots of different ethnic groups, and there are lots of people who discriminate against ethnic groups.

Sometimes it's hard to find out who they are . . .

And sometimes it isn't.

I didn't think that my best friend was one of those people.

Until she described me as BROWN.

I don't know why it got to me so much. I just didn't expect it of her. It caught me totally of guard. And then, know what the worst part is?

She made out like it was a joke. And everyone was laughing, also thinking she didn't mean it, and I didn't even try to pretend I was laughing. I just looked at her.

Then she says, "What?" but not innocently, like she's trying to pretend she's done nothing, but in a concerned way, like she's actually worried she's said something wrong.

That's what made me think; maybe she didn't realise. Some people don't.

I mean, she's never been racist before. I can't believe she'd be racist now.

Maybe it was a slip of the tongue.

Like I said, I'm not quite sure why the term 'brown' gets to me . . . but I think . . .

It's probably because she used it . . .

That woman . . . I hate her.

I don't even want to say who she is.

"Accept it. You're brown. You're a brown-skinned person." she would say. She didn't understand. She was arrogant.

"Don't you play that everfucking game with me!" I screamed. " I'm BLACK!"

I could walk her all the way down the road of understanding and back and she still wouldn't get it.

So she can just piss off.

I've been discriminated against enough times to know when it's happening.

It hasn't only been because of my skin colour. But it's the main reason, because the area I live in . . . has these groups . . .

I don't need other people to tell me what I am. They don't need to understand. The only thing that matters is that I remember who I am. All the stuff inside me, that's easy to forget.

But one thing I can never forget, even if i wanted to . . .

Is the colour of my skin.

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That's the story.
I don't know if I'll continue it.

Note: Thoughts and feelings that have been put into this story are not MY thoughts and feelings but based on other stuff.
This is a fictional character's point of view.

Star* * *